Up the Academy: Here She Comes
by Mischievous-Bone-Marrow
Summary: If you've seen the 80's movie you'd get it. Basically I added in Leisman's neice in before Rodney arrives. -Ralph Macchio movie-
1. Undercover and Introductions

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in **_**Up the Academy **_**other than Cameron and her 'unmentioned' family.**

**Chapter 1**

_Undercover and Introductions_

**Cameron's POV**

_God, this suck's. _I'm only 15 and I'm doing my uncle Leisman's dirty work. I should be in a _normal _high school. Not working at some military school for boy's! What the hell? I think I'm the only other female on campus other than _Ms. Bliss. _Bimbo… To top it off, I have to room with a group of boy's.

Now my chances of rape are up to about 90%. Lucky me. It's around two in the afternoon. The boy's should be arriving soon. Five minutes later one of the commander's brought in four boy's.

Caucasian, wearing a sweater type jacket, and flannels. A Colored boy, wearing a white and black leather jacket an jeans. An Arab, wearing, what looked like, a full body robe. And…an Italian? He looked like the rich type, wearing a light blue suit and a yellow button-up underneath.

He looked fun to piss off. They all stared at me as they put there stuff down, until one spoke up, "This place smells like jock straps." Good one. "What a dump." Said another. "Alright you new rats shape up and he'll be right in."

Go away…I freakin hate all of the commander's. Sexist idiots. "Who'll be in." The Caucasian spoke. "…Leisman." Ahh, my favorite uncle…_bastard. _"Whose Liesman?"

"Who cares?" The Italian spoke up. Sounded more like a pissed off Yankee to me. "I'm Oliver Hault, I'm from Michigan." The Caucasian spoke, his blonde hair bouncing like his voice. "Not my fault." Attitude. Do want!

The black boy stepped in and shook Oliver's hand. "I'm Eisenhower MacArthur." "That a history lesson or a name." Oliver patted _Eisenhower's _shoulder_. _"Is your father in the army?" The Arab said sounding interested in learning this.

"No he's a saint, why else would he give me this name. Just call me Ike." "Hash." The Arab said, as he shook Ike's hand. "Not now, man. Maybe after dinner." "No. My *name* is Hash. It's easier to say than "El Hashid Amir Junior"." What a name.

"I didn't know girls went here." Hash said. "Finally, someone notices I'm alive. And they don't, I'm only here because my parent's are dead and because my uncle is my only living relative, who works _**here**__._ So I'm an acceptance." I sat up from the bunk I was lying on.

The Italian looked like he was getting pissed, what with all the friendly conversation going on. "I'm taking this top bunk." He said referring to the one above me. "Got any objections, Princess?" He said looking at me, with a smirk.

"To the bunk, no. But to you, just get the fuck out." He stared me down and said, "Wanna repeat that, Princess." I opened my mouth, but Oliver stepped in, trying to change the subject. "Well now, hold on a second. Since there's only three top bunks, why don't we draw straw's. You know, make it democratic?" "Draw this." He flipped Oliver the bird.

"Hey! Watch it." Oliver bit back. Ike stepped in and Hash held Oliver back. "Watch it. If we're gonna be living together, we have got to try and get along." At least 3 out of 4 is nice. "Hey, let me tell you guys something. As far as I'm concerned, we're not living together. See, I'm by myself; I don't wanna be here, I just wanna do my work, mind my own business, and get outta here when my time is up, alright?" He went over and climbed to the top of the bunk.

Oliver looked at him and sent him a death glare. And what's-his-name did the same. I looked out the window and saw the commander from before, yelling at our window. "Here he comes! Leisman!" Ahh my _favorite _uncle…asshole. I saw the shadow in the hall and a breeze came along with it.

Not a good idea to wear jean's and a tank with him around. Fricken cold…He stepped into _our_ room, with his shade's and uniform on. "Ten hut." We all lined up in a row facing him opposite. He walked in surveying us.

"Welcome gentlemen. My name is Major Vaughn Leisman. And I'm sure you've already met my niece Cameron." They stared at me with an expression that said these words exactly, 'Shit.' "She'll be bunking with you guys to make sure that no one stands out of place."

God, I hate being a rat.

"I would like us all to be friends." What. The. Fuck. "Wyenburg, can be a very lonely place if you don't have friends. I know." He walked over to Ike and Oliver's beds. "I was 7 years old when I first came to the academy," He checked out there thing's. I felt like saying, 'You asshole.', "I didn't have any friends. Nobody liked me. Who whose bunk is this now?" He asked, pointing to the one on the bottom.

"Uh, mine." Oliver spoke. If that kid only knew how many balls he had. My uncle took off his glasses and shoved them in his breast pocket. "Don't you mean "Mine, Sir"?" Aw, not this crap again. "Yes, Sir." My uncle smirked. "Say it again." "Mine, Sir." Oliver said with more force. "Say it again." "Mine, Sir." "Say it again!" "Mine, Sir." "As the years rolled by I learned by getting along with people by what was doing what was asked of me." I'm bored. "By living up to the cold of the academy."

He walked away from Oliver and to what-the-bloody-fuck-is-his-name! "And by putting my trust in my superiors, everybody liked me. Now suffice to say the saddest day of my life was when I graduated from the academy. And I was never really happy again, until I returned here to assume my duties as the assistant to the commandant. Oh yeah, I forgot, I did have a few brief moments of satisfaction in Vietnam, were I was fortunate enough to serve my country to the fullest of my capabilities, let me lie! By large, Wyenburg is were I belonged. And in the sense, Wyenburg, belongs to me- Am I boring you boy?"

He stepped up to Oliver. "No, it's just a little chilly in here." "Don't you mean "It's just a little chilly in her, Sir!"" "Yes, Sir." "Well, say it!" "It's Just a little chilly in here, Sir!" "Say it again!" "It's just a little chilly in here Sir!" "Say it again!" "It's just a little chilly in here, Sir." "That's what I thought you meant. Anyway, gentlemen I truly believe that this semester will be a very pleasant experience for all of us! If, you just obey the rules."

Is his speech over? "Because if you don't, I'm gonna find out." He said looking to me. "And then I won't be able to be your friend anymore. Cause whatever you do. Were ever you go. What ever your thinking. I'll be watching you. Look-in out for your better interests." He walked over to one of the small blue trunks that lay on the floor at the foot of Hash's bed. "Cause after all that's what friends are for." He opened it, and it reveled 2 candle holders from the 'church' area.

"You take these candle sticks here for instants? Cause I do not think they belong here" He asked looking towards Hash. "uh…they were a g-gift, from my uncle, Sir." He replied nonchalantly. "Pick them up." Hash bent over and said "Yes, Sir" Bad move. My uncle grabbed his neck and shook him after every sentence he said. "I ever catch you stealing again boy, I'm gonna rip your balls off." Wow. Just wow. "Fair enough, Sir." "Say it again!" "Fair enough, Sir!" "Say it again!" "Fair enough, Sir!" He got up and stalked back to us. "Gentlemen, it's getting late. Once again, welcome to Wyenburg! Get a good night's rest, tonight. Pleasant dreams."

Yes, he's finally gone! The boy's each went to their bed's except for the tumor that was starting to grow on my ass! He sat next to me on mine. Ike said and said. "He didn't mean it when he said he wanted to be friends." No- "No, Shit!" Tan man cut in. "Well, I'm gonna go get dressed for bed."

"But it's only three o'clock." Hash was flabbergasted. "You do realize your going to have to get up at six A.M.?" I said walked to the 'one room' bathroom to change. I came back an hour and thirty minutes later. One because I decided I needed a warm shower and second because I feel asleep for an hour. I came back in a bra and long pajama bottoms. I forgot my shirt and my tank from earlier was covered in dirt. Don't ask why. And frankly, I was so tired I didn't care. I woke up at four A.M and didn't go back to bed. And six A.M. tomorrow? Shit.

I walked in with a pile of dirty clothes and I grabbed everyone's attention. Before, all they did was talk except for _Sicily_ who was still pretty pissed. All of them, except Oliver, were staring at me like a baby looking at it's mother's breasts. At least he had some manners.

"What?" Quick enough they all de robed down to their underwear in front of me. "Oh god! My poor virgin eye's!" I said covering my eye's. "As if, you don't like what you see, Cupcake." "Feh." I walked over to _**my **_bed, sat down, and shoved my laundry under the bed.

"Any one tries anything to me, tonight. And I'll stab your eye's out with pencils, shove them into a blender and have an energy drink." Creeps. "Maybe she really is related to Leisman." "Ike, didn't you hear anything of my uncle's announcement? Jesus Christ. "Anyway, did any one crack the safe to his name yet?" I asked pointing to- damnit.

"Nope." They all said. "Why is it important. Fine, if this get's you off my back than ok. It's Chooch." We stared at him long and hard. "Your name is 'Moron'? What the hell?"

He just stalked up to me, and pulled me down on my bed to sit ,and whispered, "Look, Baby, I'd like to have sex with you but not infront of the other's. We can schedule a session during dinner, if you like?" What the hell is this, I don't even- I swear to god that the sound of a smack could be heard through out the whole academy. Chooch's face had a hand print on it and he looked like the wrath of God. Hash and Ike pulled me away from him before he could do anything.

"Geez, Cam. What did he say?" Ike asked. "Nothing important. Hey you guy's better get dressed. Don't wanna be late for dinner?" I smirked. 3 of them still in there tighty whitey's. And one looking around like an idiot.

"What about you." Hash asked. "I'm in my pajama bottom's and a bra. I'm hitting the sac. You all better get dressed." I turned around and Chooch was there smiling like Satan. Crap. I will admit he is cute. But, evil.

"Guy's I think I'll go to bed too. If, Princess, doesn't mind." "Not at all, Romeo." I walked passed him and slipped underneath the bed sheets and blankets. Six minutes passed and they were out the door.

I didn't think he was serious but Chooch actually did go to bed. Me being extremely tired wouldn't wake up 'til six tomorrow.

Longest. Chapter. **EVER.**


	2. Met My Match

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in **_**Up the Academy **_**other than Cameron and her 'unmentioned' family.**

**Chapter 2**

_Met my Match_

**Cameron's POV**

First stop. Ms. Bliss's class. Honestly, I enjoy her class. I just hate her. She's _so_ annoying. Her breasts are sticking out of her shirt _all_ the time. She probably figures it's the only way to get the classes attention.

I swear, with everyone looking at her like that, there is going to be one huge explosion. At least it's only a 45 minute class. The rest is just…ballroom dance class (what the fuck?) with a pedophile, soccer, and marching. This suck's so much.

At least when everything was over I could hit the sac. This time when I went to bed I had a clean t-shirt. By seven, we were all in our room.

Ike was listening with Oliver to his father on the radio. God he was loud. Was he Baptist? Hash was on the floor bowing to either a bunch of can's of soda or gas. And Chooch was doing his homework.

I was reading 'Dr. Zhivago'. All of them in their undies, except of course for Hash. Chooch was getting mad, he went up to them and shut off their radio. "Do you mind? I'm trying to do my homework." He walked back to the desk.

"But it's Ike's father." "It's fine. He's-" He was cut off when.

"Short's collection." It was all I could do to stop from laughing. "I beg your pardon, Sir?" Oliver asked in a 'What the hell' voice. Chooch gave the pedophile a 'Get out, now.' look. "I was just on my way to the laundry. Why don't you all just slip out of your little under shorts." "That's fine, Sir. But we're gonna do our laundry tomorrow." Ike said. "Oh." Commander Sisson left.

I started cracking up at that point. "It's not that funny…" Ike was obviously very embarrassed. Hey, wouldn't you laugh if you friends became the target of a pedophile? Considering the fact that I'm still in a t-shirt and jeans.

I was starting to get bored, when I felt a chill go through out the room. I knew that Uncle Leisman was walking by. Not only that, but because the boys felt it too. As soon as I knew he was gone "_*cough*faggot*cough*_."

Ike and Oliver were the only one's to crack a smirk. Chooch just went back to homework, and I don't think Hash knew what it meant. I sat my book down on the bed. I got up and took my _small_ backpack out from under the bed.

I ripped out a piece of lined paper and started ripping and tearing pieces off. Everyone who was watching me was either confused, or they understood and tried not to laugh. When I was sure I had at least twenty pieces I lined 'em all up on my book, and started flicking them at Chooch's back.

He turned around looking like the wrath of god. All I could manage was "Your fun to fluster." He got up and walked toward me. When he stopped he crouched on the ground inches away from my face.

"Listen, Princess. This is as far as I'm taken it. I don't care if your Leisman's niece. You wanted yourself a war, you've got it. This ain't over yet." He walked back to his desk, thinking he was cooler than ice. Completely concentrated on his homework, obviously.

Ike whistled upon hearing this and Hash and Oliver were mouthing the word's 'Woah'. Well, after hearing this I'd say it's safe to say I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight. I think

I'm lucky if I wake up tomorrow…


	3. Eat Shit and Die

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in _Up the Academy _other than Cameron and her 'unmentioned' family.**

**Hayden/ readers: I appreciate the fact that I could make you laugh/smile. But I'm sorry it took so long to update . :VVVV I've had a little trouble thinking of what to happen next. BUT HERE IT IS! FFFFFFFASDFGHJKL! I hope I'll be able to make you guys piss yourself with uncontrollable laughter with the next chapters to come :3 **

**Chapter 3**

_Eat Shit and Die _

**Cameron's POV**

_I'm awake…and alive? Holy crap…___

Well it looks like I was able to survive the night, without Chooch trying to dismember any of my limbs. There must be someone actually looking out for m-…never mind. I just lifted the covers to my bed and…seriously what the hell? Everything but my bra and panties were gone.

Who the f-… that little ape. Just as soon as I find some clothes, I'm cutting off his Italian sausage with a paper cutter! Oh hay Hash is awake. Go get me some f***in clothes you lazy, perverted Arab! "HASH!" He jumped up in the air a mile high obviously not knowing I was awake.

"Where the flying f*** did Chooch put my clothes!" I completely covered myself in a blanket now, I looked like an Eskimo. "Good lord. So that's what he did last night…I just thought he was feeling you up. Anyways I have no idea he should be back so-" "Hey Muhammad, is Princess up yet?" Asdfghjkl. "If you don't give me my clothes back now you pedophile I will saw off your _jewels _with a plastic knife."

I could tell my eye's were on the verge of bleeding from staring at him so much. "Alright, alright," Chooch said walking up to me and putting his hands on my shoulders. "Listen, I'll bring back your clothes…if, you give me a little show." He looked up and down at the blanket which covered y body. I saw Hash's face turn into a sketchy grin and now- wtf? I'm blushing no f***ing way in-…woops.

Somehow, gravity pulled my foot up and it kicked Chooch in the skittles…I wonder how that happened :3 Who cares? He's on the ground now and squealing like a little girl. Good god. I won't even repeat what he just called me. Chivalry is dead you can tell….

**Sorry it's so shorttttttt, but it's updated 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Next chapter, Dat ass Rodney comes to town ;33333;**


	4. You…YOU NERF HERDER :VVVV

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in _Up the Academy _other than Cameron and her 'unmentioned' family.**

**For those of you who do not know what a 'Nerf Herder' is do me a favor and get some pop culture in your lives :V (Lolzzz just watch Star Wars ;3;)**

**Chapter 4**

_You…YOU NERF HERDER :VVVV_

**Cameron's POV**

Life is tooooooooooo goooooooodddd. Because I'm related to my buttfucker of an uncle, I don't have to do this bull shit game, A.K.A. Soccer. Although I do feel bad, because Ike just took a nice dive into the mud and then got harassed by the coach, who apparently thought he was "white".

But the whole plus side to this, other than being a lazy fatass, is watching boys in tight shirts and small shorts run around in mud. Pure fetish fuel. What I wouldn't give to be that ball…

And the fantasy dies as soon as I hear the trumpets and, Leisman's sweet, sweet (not) voice.

"In exactly 29 days…and 14:00 hours, during parents weekend, there will of course be the annual Wyenburg Memorial Student Faculty Soccer Game." And the crowd goes wild. "I'll be playing for the faculty and, I'll be playing to win.

And I might add, the faculty has never lost." Oh hay look, it's the Duke of Douche. "And I'm sure, none of you think this'll be the first time." And there's the Duke's Jester kicking the soccer ball in the air. I really wish I could yell dick.

And of course the little troll kicks it into the goal. Jerk. Why are all the jerks so h- I mean disgusting. Long story short, Chooch kicked the ball in the air, Leisman caught it, Leisman kicked it, Hash ran after it, kicked it at Leisman's hea-I SAW THAT I SAW YOU (Ike) FLIP HIM OFF.

I see what you did there. Anyway Hash ate shit for taking stuff that wasn't his and hiding it in his hat. And then he had to clean the bathroom's with Oliver.

Currently, we're all back in the room. And they started talking about some little "pussy plan". "Maybe…Chooch could cover for us if we're not back in time?" Ike said.

"Hey look I ain't covering for anybody; you guys go over the wall, you take your own chances. Just leave me outta this." "Uhm, hello? I could do it, I'm Leismans niece but,

I'm not a bitch who'd ruin the closest friendship I've ever had." Yeahhh all of them except you Ch- Of course I'm basically in front of, a very shirtless Chooch, while he's sitting at the desk. So, he pulls me into his lap and say's, "So, I guess Princess, does like me after all." .

"I didn't know Cameron was interested in Guido's." That voice…I feel as though there's a sinister presence in the r- aw MOTHER F***ING C*** LICKING SON OF A B****. AW THIS IS JUST F***ING GREAT. THAT GOD DAMN NERF HERDER. AWWWWWW F********************.

"Hello Rodney, how does it feel to be a bastard?"

**Nap time. **


	5. BLASPHEMY

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in _Up the Academy _other than Cameron and her 'unmentioned' family.**

**Chapter 5**

BLASPHEMY.

**Cameron's POV **

"You and I both know its not my fault my parents had sex in that broken elevator." …I think I'm blind. "I don't think we needed to here this." Chooch said not sounding too impressed, Ike and Hash started making faces, and…Oliver just left the room. Not the only way Rodney can clear a room…..

He introduced himself to everyone, then tried to claim Chooch's bed then the one belo- MINE :V "Hay screw off asswipe. My bed. Besides I know what you do to yours, you sick twisted avocado!" "We're do I sleep then?" "I don't know. It'd be easier to clean up the floor than out of a mattress!" I think everyone else in the room just lost their ears virginity. "It's not my fault I wet myself!" "Not my fault you look like a giant tub of lard!" And with that the raging bull has left the room.

"….you have some fucked up family girlie." I know Ike….I know.

_

During 'dinner' Uncle Pussy and Dumbass Douche gave a show where they didn't know eachother. And the four boys left early to discuss something. That night I would lose all feeling within my brain and between my legs….


End file.
